Putting it All Together

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER 1

Puttingit All Together

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1. The studentessay above is organized, interesting, and complete. What is thewriter’s thesis? You can find it at the end of the first paragraph.

The thesis claimsthat the pattern of oppression and subservience witnessed during theSalem Witch Trials has repeated itself throughout history andcontinues today.

2. What does thewriter use to support this statement? List his examples.

The writer citeshistorical examples to show how religious ideologies were used toexert control over civilian populations. Some of these occurrencesinclude:

  • The Holocaust, which amounted to cleansing on a larger scale

  • Millions under Hitler’s regime did not question the government, military, or the church

  • Senator McCarthy exploited his position by forcing Hollywood actors and writers to name individuals who had communist leanings. Innocent people were persecuted while others were interrogated and blacklisted for failing to name Communist sympathizers.

  • Muslim Americans are treated with suspicion

  • The Patriot Act has actively diminished the rights of individuals guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution

3. Who is thewriter’s audience?

The writeraddresses the general audience since he appeals to the “globalsociety.” Furthermore, the author encourages his audience to strivefor more freedom and tolerance of all religions, beliefs, andindividuals. Therefore, the writer must be addressing everyone.

4. What techniquedoes the writer use to conclude his essay?

The writerconcluded his essay by restating his thesis. He also reiterates thereality that is caused by enforced ideologies and beliefs. Finally,he ends with a call to action urging everyone to develop moretolerance for people from different religions.

5. Although thisstudent wrote a very good essay, all writing can be revised. If youwere advising the writer on revisions, what would you suggest?

I would advisethe writer to eliminate instances of tautology within his statements.For example, appropriate synonyms could be used to replace the word“led,” which has been repeated in the same sentence. The writershould also combine the paragraphs about the mistreatment experiencedby Muslims and the Patriot Act. The latter legislation was enacted inthe aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. Consequently, Muslims and otherminority groups were targeted through racial profiling. In fact,oppression occurred through unlawful detaining and the curtailing ofother fundamental freedoms. Therefore, the two paragraphs should beconjoined since they refer to the same time period.