Nameof the person you are responding to: _
PeerEvaluation Worksheet (use the back of the sheet if you need moreroom)
Introductionof the paper:
Find the thesis. Underlineit on draft, or write it here.
“Tobe heard they cannot stand-alone and without the help, they will notbe successful on trying to change the world,”is the thesis statement of this paper.
How does the thesis limitthe focus of the paper? Is the thesis too general?
The thesis statement is notgeneral, as a matter of fact it restricts the writer to discuss howthe transgender society requires to be supported. If the thesis wasgeneral, the writer would have room to broaden the discussion.
Does the introductioninclude adequate background information? List some specifics here.
The introduction is notsufficient since the writer does not provide enough backgroundinformation to guide the reader in comprehending the case. One ofthe specifics is, “Imagine being told that you cannot do somethingdue to your identity. In different a situation, the society is notallowing the transgender community to be true who they are as aperson.”
Should the introduction beexpanded or tightened? Why?
The introduction should beexpanded to give apprehension to the reader of what happened beforeand how he will go about the whole paper.
Does the introduction“announce” the layout of the rest of the paper? What lets youknow this?
Yes, it does. The writertalks about how the transgender society is voiceless and needs helpto claim a magnificent voice. Throughout the paper, he addressessituations where the court system and the school board did notconsider Grimm and rallies the reader to assist in changing thatdiscrimination. “In most cases, transgender people tend to betreated as if they are not even human beings.”
Has the writer made youwant to learn more? Why or why not?
Yes, the writer has made mewant to learn more on how the transgender have been discriminated andhow their voices could be heard. The thesis statement created aninterest in me on how the transgender could be helped.
Underline the topicsentences on the paper. Is there a clear connection between each ofthe paragraphs and the thesis? If not, where do you see problems?
Yes, the connection betweenthe thesis and the paragraphs is appropriately established. Theyprovide insight on how the transgender voices have been shut down andhow they can be reclaimed.
Are points substantiatedwith evidence? Is the evidence pertinent, reliable, and/orverifiable?
The substance of the pointsis clearly stated, and the evidence that the writer provided wassuitable and verifiable as the clauses and quotes provided areefficient.
Are paragraphs unified(exploring only one idea)? Point out paragraphs that lack unity.
The ideas in the paragraphsare well unified and agree with each one of the paragraphs.
Are paragraphs developed(is there enough information in each paragraph)? Point outparagraphs that lack development.
The paragraphs are very wellestablished and developed because the writer has provided adequateinformation to back up his topic sentences. Although, the thirdparagraph from the bottom is slightly not in tandem with its topicsentence.
Are there in-text citationsin MLA style ifsources are used?
The writer has not used theMLA style for citation.
Is the thesis restated(and, if possible, reworded)?
The conclusion is correctlywritten it is a paraphrasing of the thesis statement and the topicsentences.
Is the length of theconclusion appropriate? Does it need to be tightened or expanded? Why?
It is not appropriate. Itshould be expanded since some information has been cut out of theconclusion.
What strategies does thepaper use to close the discussion (ex: brief summary of points,recommendation)?
The approach the paper hasused to conclude is a summary of points and rewording of the thesisstatement.
Are you interested inlearning more about (has the author made the topic relevant to you)? Why or why not?
The paper has enlightened meon the plight of the transgender society, and I am interested inlearning more on this topic.
Are there issues related togrammar and punctuation that the author needs to address? If so,what are they?
The author has a criticalissue with grammar and punctuation as the whole paper is full ofgrammatical errors and improper punctuation. For example, “Therewere a numerous amount of members that supported the proposed,however, on the other hand there were individual who did not supportthis issue.”
Have sources been quotedcorrectly, if sources were used?
The citation and quotation ofsources was improper.
Is the Works Citedformatted correctly, if sources were used?
The author did not format thepaper correctly according to MLA style.
List three strengths(what you feel the author did well) and three weakness (areas thatneed improvement) of the paper.
Thestrengths include the writer had a smooth flow of ideas, build up onthe thesis statement and good topic sentences.
Theweaknesses include poor grammar, failure to cite properly as per therequirements of the MLA style, and insufficient backgroundinformation in the introduction.